Every year at Halloween (except 2010, we shall never speak of 2010) I like to carve a fancy pumpkin. When I was a kid I always loved carving pumpkins but I always made them into faces; triangle eyes, pointy teeth,  maybe a jagged scar if I was feeling ambitious, but definitely nothing to write home about.

Then, in university, we had a pumpkin carving contest every year. It was during this time that I learned the intricacies and magnificence of non-face pumpkin carving. How could I have been missing this fantastic opportunity all these years? Since those life shaping, coming-of-age years I’ve challenged myself to make a fancy pumpkin and I’ve never looked back since (NEVER speak of 2010).

My first attempt at a non-face was in fact a face. But a cool, non jack o’lanterny face. Captain James T. Kirk sat out front of our house in England greeting all the…well, no one, since kids don’t trick or treat in England. But it greeted all the drunk co-eds would stumbled past our house on the way to the take away restaurant.

My second attempt was a pirate ship, to honour the pirate heritage of my new house back in Toronto. This house has a long and proud history of welcoming pirates out from the cold (and then back into the cold to do tug of ward contests, fire cannons, hoist sales, etc.). I felt, as the new kid on block, that I should show my solidarity by dedicating my pumpkin to the pirate-cause. Contrary to everything we think we know about pirates, this pumpkin did not get stolen.

Finally, this year I made an homage to my favourite TV character of the moment Ron Swanson from Parks & Recreation (if you don’t watch this show, go watch it all right now!) – he’s amazing. I am just hoping my pumpkin was able to give justice to his moustache.

If circumstances work out, I may be carving a second pumpkin this year, as well. Of course, the satisfaction of a well carved gourd is enough to keep me going, but the added bonus is knowing that after all that meticulous cutting I get to roast and eat all the seeds I painstakingly extracted from the belly of the beast. Mmm, pumpkin seeds.