While I didn’t try to break up the wedding like Julia Roberts did to Dermot Mulroney in the 1997 film by the same title, I did tell her that I love her and was very happy for her and her new husband. I also delivered a speech at the reception that I thought I’d share here:

When I realised I’d have to write and read a speech for this wedding I thought, “thank goodness I’m funny” because I don’t do well with feelings. And in the 18 years that I’ve known Cara, I’ve known her to have a lot of feelings. Like, a lot of feelings. That’s the problem with having such a kind and loving heart, like she has, it leaves you vulnerable to immense caring, often resulting in feelings. And crying. So, in an attempt to avoid crying, I am going to take you all back 18 years to when we first met. Back to tie- dye track suits, scrunchies, and stick on earrings. Back to the 90s.

I met Cara at an outdoor adventure summer camp in 1994 and we became fast friends, or so I thought. It wasn’t until later that I started questioning whether she liked me or my brother, who was a dead ringer for Blue Jay Robbie Alomar at the time. Later, I realised it was my brother, but he soon grew out of his Puerto Rican phase and Cara realised I was the real deal (a friend, not a Puerto Rican).

Back then, we went to different schools and being eight, we weren’t the best at correspondence. So when camp ended, we didn’t see each other for a year. But then the next summer rolled around and we found ourselves together again, at a different camp! This time, theatre camp. At the time we both had a flare for the dramatic and aspired to be famous actresses one day. I eventually got over that (please see Cara’s recent episode of Property Brothers). That summer, we reconnected like no time had passed; I was the Zazu to her Simba…literally we were acting out a scene from Lion King at camp that summer.

Camp was winding down and we realised we might not see each other again for a year, and being nine, we weren’t that good with correspondence. Luckily, with the interjection of our parents, we realised we were both transferring to the same school in the fall! Well, that was great news and we were happy to leave it at that, we would see each other at school and relive the whole summer all winter long. Thankfully our mothers did something that neither of them did again, before or since.

They scheduled a sleepover for the two of us without our knowledge. I must have left my filofax on the dining table because somehow my mum knew I was free that night. I was informed Cara was coming over and we were going to be new best friend forever. Well, the last part may have been more implied than actually said, but nevertheless, it was true!

We spent the next 17 years at the same three schools, on the same softball teams, and even a couple summers at the same jobs. The term “best friends” doesn’t seem to be big enough for us. I’m truly thrilled that we’re officially adding Jay into our best friend family. Just remember Jay, being number two in Cara’s heart is still a pretty good showing.

Which brings me to Jay. One of my first memories of Jay is inviting him to a party at my brother’s house, and while the rest of us got off the subway he decided to stay on it, ride away, and go skateboarding somewhere instead. So, nothing much has changed there.

I’d like to be able to give Cara and Jay some relationship advice for their marriage but those who know me know that I’ve never even be able to commit to a brand of toothpaste for more than 5 months let alone a relationship long enough to garner wisdom!

But some advice that I read recently and can share is this:

– Always make time for cuddling

– Be willing to share your belongings

– Keep meal times diverse and interesting

– Know ahead of time that there will always be messes to clean up

– Listening is key, sometimes what sounds like mindless peeping can really have a deeper meaning

If you’re able to stick to these tips you should experience a long and happy life together with your new kitten. I got these tips from CatFancy.com but I think it still applies.

With that, I’d like to say cheers to Cara and Jay. I love you! *DRINK*

And drink we did. After my speech the bar was opened (appropriately) and we partied until they kicked us out! Congrats again to Cara and Jay! xx